Solace for a Grieving Heart #2

You’re on the brink of a nervous breakdown.  Your long marriage and settled life lie in broken bits at your feet.  No amount of glue is going to fit that mess neatly back  together.

What do you do?

Join the Y.


Or a gym.  Or a yoga studio.  Or a dance class.

Put down that glass of wine.  Turn off the TV.  Get up off the couch.  Move.  Get those  endorphins going.

The first time in my life I ever joined a gym was a couple months after I initiated divorce
proceedings.  It’s one of the steps that saved my sanity.

Can you pick me out in my Zumba class? I love this class.

My YWCA is close to my house.    That’s one point in its favor.

Another is that it’s a friendly place.  I often bump into my neighbors, so I get hugs at my gym.  I’ve even made some new friends.

No one is pressured to be a fashionista at my Y.  Loose t-shirts and any old shorts will do.  I love that about it.

I’m an exercise class person instead of a machine person.  I like the camaraderie of working out in a group, the imposed discipline of having to be there at a certain time.  Plus the instructors push me harder than I’d push myself.  But lots of people love their time on the treadmill.

My friend, Ryan, gets all this from a dance studio.  Downsized, divorced and uprooted across the country for a new job, that’s Ryan.  Triple whammy, all within a few months.  His answer? The mambo.

Dancing the mambo

This isn’t exactly 50-something Ryan. Close enough. You get the idea.


I never would have pictured this straight-laced preacher’s kid swiveling his hips to provocative Latin beats. He loves it. Just danced in a regional competition, won first place for that mambo of his. Go Ryan!

The point is, he and I feel physically great. Probably the best we have in years.

I just got back from a Y class. Lying on my back, looking up into the rafters and the slowly rotating fans, listening to the instructor push me with my stomach crunches, brought me back to how soothing, how calming this routine was in the early months of divorce, when I was an open, seething wound of pain.

Belly dancing, pilates, tai chi, weight lifting, yoga, ballroom dancing, spinning, swimming, whatever it is that you enjoy, get going.  Just do it!

Check out this 2 minute video from Contrex, a French brand of bottled water .  It’s  clever in a way only a French exercise video could  be.  The message at the end reads, “You’ll lose more weight if it’s fun.”



10 thoughts on “Solace for a Grieving Heart #2

  1. You present us with many challenges. First, getting in touch with our bodies and our “selves” through physical exercise; second doing number one in a group which opens one up to meeting new people and seeing old friends and three, the most challenging, finding you in the picture.
    The only problem for me, with challenges one and two, is when “I” stop certain exercises my not so tight body continues to move even though “I” have stopped. Not a pretty picture to put on display in front of friends and strangers. I know, purely an ego problem that must be overcome.
    For challenge number three, Ms Stone, I believe you are not in the picture of the class, you are in fact actually Ryan’s dance partner! At last you are exposed!
    Finally, I loved the ad, what fun. It put a Kool Aid smile on my face for the whole of the day.
    Thanks GS for the advice and fun read. Read you in a few days.

  2. Let’s just say I agree with “Big Fan” that Georgia might really be the one shaking her booty with/for Ryan to the mambo. Tell me Georgia isn’t half the fun of all this learning that a little flirting can be good for the soul. And you can have fun flirting with people even if you aren’t thinking you will soon become “friends with benefits.” I am so enjoying the vibe of your blog. Keep it up.

  3. The gym, good for our bodies, confidence, talking to people. I can never figure out if the men are single, since they often remove their rings. But, I love that Georgia runs into neighbors, friends, makes new friends, gets hugs. It’s inspirational. The French video is fun! Can’t wait to read your next entry.

  4. How good it feels after you workout. Air in the lungs. Muscles tired in a good way. All ready to drink lots of water then head out, in a way better mood, to whatever the evening brings. Helps with the chocolate addiction too!

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